Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this just has baby written all over it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
