If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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