well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
