I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
