I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
