Im at strip club and am horny
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Houston, we have a blender
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
