my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
