Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
