I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
