It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
