I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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