And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize