Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i've created a new STD.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
