Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
