her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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