Did you just see the Batmobile???
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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