That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
