The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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