is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
