I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
