Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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