I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize