ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
