i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
4 words: hood of his car
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
