lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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