I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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