Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
