My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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