Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
