I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
