I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
