i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
