Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
