I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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