I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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