I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
