we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
