he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
