I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
