You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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