Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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