If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
