Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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