singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
