i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
