I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
