Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
