i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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