One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
