While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What a dumb baby whore.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
