Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
