I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize