So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was confusing and full of hummus
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
