The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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