I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
