I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
