I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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