He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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