i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
