This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize