he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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