saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
