I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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