Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
