OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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