the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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