you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
