What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
