Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
