she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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