Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
