Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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