i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
