She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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