whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize